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April 6, 2004
VIA U.S. MAIL & FACSIMILE – (415) --------
PAGES: 1
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Special Agent
United States Secret Service
345 Spear Street, Suite 530
San Francisco, CA 94105
Recolon Daniel L. Culveyhouse
D.O.B.colon --/--/--
Dear Agent -------:
Be advised by this letter that Daniel L. Culveyhouse Is hereby asserting his right to silence and his right to counsel pursuant to the Fifth and Sixth Amendments of the United States Constitution. As he is doing so, Mr. Culveyhouse will not be attending the interview currently scheduled for April 7, 2004 at 11colon30 a.m. In the future, please direct all communication regarding Mr. Culveyhouse to counsel.
Please feel free to contact me at (415) -------- if you have any questions. Thank you for you attention to this matter.
Sincerely,
Sangeeta Singa
Deputy Public Defender
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(By Daniel Culveyhouse | No comments yet | comment here)
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It’s time for me to announce a heinous act that took place two months ago at the hand of my neurotic ex-boss, Mark N. This is my longest blog entry to date, an honest account with some zany twists (like the Spear Street story). So grab some bubble tea and strawberry shortcake and cuddle in front of your (hopefully) low emission monitor!
Clearly, Mark N. has always been desperate to launch an immediate retaliatory act each time that I file a valid complaint or a hearing against his business, iBigots (name changed to maximize my litigation!). This time, I filed a state discrimination complaint on March 16, and hardly three days later, the ex-boss played the one-upmanship game. He went to the US Secret Service under false pretenses, using fabricated data that were obsessively drafted to make me look like some hacker dude.
Specifically, he claims that I unabashedly hacked into the company’s servers— the very servers that I ordered, installed, and managed as an employee. He also claims that I sent over three hundred emails and spam to the staff and to some of the sweatshop’s customers. None of this is true, and it’s simply a personal attack upon my high-tech skills. In fact, to this day, I stay in touch with some of these customers, as I sympathize with their struggle to stay in business. Truly, no one cares nor takes Mark’s comical allegations seriously. And it’s unfortunate that the US Secret Service has to be bothered by lynch mobs and bigoted snakes who froth at the mouth and demand punishment to faggots who fight for workplace equality.
Anyway, back to the investigation, or how about the “Case of the Hacker Fairy.” I learned that I was being investigated when my HRC representative received an amateurish and poorly edited response from “iBigots” in regards to questions raised about their office practices and policies. I read the acrimonious paragraph about the USSS, and as I expected, the Secret Service was still at 345 Spear Street.
Now here comes the best part: 345 Spear is one of the four buildings leased by Gap Inc. on that street, and as a Gap contractor, I converted the floors of the 345 Spear building to a Cisco Gigabit network in 1999! Isn’t it funny how everything and everyone is connected!
 | | Good Ol' 345 Spear |
So I marched straight into 345 Spear asking to speak with the special agent assigned to this case. The people in the office were kind and polite, and another agent greeted me and mentioned that my agent was out but would return Monday. I told him that I would be happy to return then, so we set a time, and I left. That weekend, I was quite happy to report to friends and community pros that the USSS office and its workers were upbeat and inviting.
I couldn’t make it to the USSS office on Monday, and at about 5 P.M., I received a message from the special agent. He was very polite and asked me to return his phone call. I discovered several minutes later through my server logs that the way he most likely grabbed my phone number was by searching for my name using the Websearch engine, then clicking through the results to my business website, where I display my phone number.
I talked to him the next morning, and he mentioned that he just wanted to get my input since “there are always two sides to every story.” I couldn’t agree more! But rather than jump the gun and march valiantly back into their Spear St. office, I thought I’d do a little bit of personal networking.
I then called a few prominent legal figures in SF to get a little advice. They all told me exactly the same thing, word for word: “Do NOT talk to them, call the Public Defender!” So call them I did, and I acquainted myself with a fantastic deputy by the name of Ms. Sinha. She was so helpful and ambitious that she made me want to sign up for volunteer work at the defender’s office! She was bothered by the story of my evil ex-employer, and within minutes she phoned and faxed the US Secret Service, announcing that she now represents me and that I am asserting my Fifth and Sixth Amendment rights. For those of you who thought you should never defy the US Secret Service, think again! View the letter that Ms. Sinha faxed by simply Clicking Here. I have not heard from the US Secret Service since.
Mark N’s indulgence in brinkmanship has cost the City of San Francisco and the federal government thousands upon thousands of dollars. He fought me at every turn, wasting his company’s meager resources and burdening agencies like the EDD, the San Francisco Superior Court, the SFPD (great job killing our beloved civilians!), and now the US Secret Service. This all costs money— money that comes from the taxes that we Californians fork over year after year.
This disgraceful act of involving federal channels in an bout of retribution is not only pure evil, but also more importantly, highly CRIMINAL! Mr. Ex-Boss has hereby committed a prosecutable crime, and it is now my duty to pursue this via our new San Francisco District Attorney and all other institutions that may work with me. It’s obvious that the boss believes that he can deal any blow he chooses without accepting responsibility for his actions. Nothing could be further from the truth. He has revealed his rampant and uncontrolled hatred toward me, and I will fight relentlessly and fearlessly until that putrid bigot is sitting behind bars and I have won a large court settlement.
A very familiar feeling might be coming over many of you readers right now. Of course, this was the stuff of the dot-com bubble! Tearing each other apart, chasing away employees, fighting your ex-boss, destroying companies, engaging every government agency imaginable, you name it! This was the culture then, and it always went with the territory. San Francisco could easily have been renown as the “Restraining Order Capital of America.”
Another common blunder— one that was probably responsible for more dot-com belly flops than jelly bellies in a candy store— was the unchecked abuse of drugs among executives and managers. Mark N.’s physicians prescribe drug cocktails to counteract his multiple anxiety disorders, then he abuses this line-up of drugs to the dismay of those around him. His fiancée mentioned several times to me that she was at her wit’s end from ”all the drugs that he’s using.”
Any industry leader, dot-commer, or venture capitalist with half a wit who has followed the high-tech undoing of 2000/2001 knows that these human resource blunders were a big catalyst to that undoing. But to ignore the lessons learned and to repeat these same mistakes two years after the bubble is pure stupidity and infidelity.
It is almost comical to see exactly how far Mark N. is willing to use his own mental illness as a weapon. Had he been forthcoming about his issues from the beginning, we employees could have better prepared ourselves and understood his behavior. Unfortunately, since I was first lured into the company, then became aware of his serious problems through altercation, and then finally resigned in protest, the benefactor of his obsessive rage is now ME.
But none of this hard work of iBigots will go unrecognized. I will always report daily on the ongoing legal battles, and whenever iBigots engages in any evil or inhuman acts, this blog site will immediately reflect it for the thousands of my weekly visitors to read, which includes plenty of the current and former customers of iBigots.
So to sum it up in two words or less, WHOA NELLIE! San Francisco’s diverse population remains strong. All of the ex-boss’s lowly tactics are in vein. And rest assured, I will fight in the name of all of us Americans that have been oppressed for what we worship, what color we are, or who we love! Thanks for listening, thanks for posting your comments below, and most of all, thank you for believing in yourselves!
-Daniel Lee Culveyhouse
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(By Daniel Culveyhouse | See the 8 comments | comment here)
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In the dark beauty of poetic justice, the vile bigots at my ex-employer fled their tiny downtown San Francisco office and dug roots in Mountain View. I have two words to sum up this new development: GOOD RIDDANCE! And as our former District Attorney Terrence Hallinan said of hateful and oppressive bigots, “We don’t like you, we don’t want you here.” I celebrated with my friends when we found this out, and trust me, this news literally came knocking on my door. One of the clumsy employees was monkeying around with my blog site a few weeks ago, and I had already programmed my blog to send me an email with full “whois” information on all visitors. I suddenly got a flurry of hits from their IP addresses, and immediately discovered through the public whois information that “iBigots” was creeping through my site through a new office in Mountain View.
I also detect a sinister motive behind this office move. It’s very likely that my ex-boss intentionally transplanted his little sweatshop to shake off the dead weight of employees that he can hardly afford to pay. Most of them lack their own transportation, making the commute a major hardship to them. And with the prospect of forking over thousands for each employee in unemployment compensation, it’s much cheaper if he covertly pushes them away from the company, as he did to me. But I also suspect that the employees at iBigots are too blinded by their own desperation to realize that he is now doing to them what he did to me.
There are endless laws and constants in the universe, and many are hidden and ignored until moments of clarity like this. Here, I truly feel that the Universal Law of Attraction has befallen iBigots: We attract what we project. They chose the path of hatred, strife, and revenge, and as a result, they have alienated themselves and struggle to survive. It’s not karma, as I don’t believe in karma. Rather, hatred is omnidirectional, and whenever a being indulges in this, he will attract the very negativity and strife that he beckoned.
 | | My New Neighborhood |
As for me, I am also moving! Not from city to city, but from one lovely SF neighborhood to another. For a while, I’ll hail from Cathedral Hill. For the past six months I have been staying with a Jewish rabbi, a generous and very wise man who wishes only the best for San Francisco. I share that sentiment, which is exactly why I’m staying here to enjoy my beloved city, and to fight for everyone’s equality and acceptance.
To those who suspected that there are people in the USA who are eroding our civil liberites, tomorrow’s blog will give you all a moment of clarity. Stay tuned for a wild ride into the heart of oppression.
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(By Daniel Culveyhouse | See the 3 comments | comment here)
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I've decided to announce the rather amazing volume of traffic I've been receiving on my blog site. Over 1,000 people per day are now visiting culveyhouse.com. I have been rather modest about this until now, after five straight days of 1000+ visits and 1800+ hits. I am grateful for all the interest in my entries, and frankly, I am surprised that this many people pay attention to my site. But definitely stick around, because I guarantee that things are going to get VERY interesting!
I did register my blog site in about 30 different blog directories, so this added a big push to my traffic. And for bloggers both vet and noob that want to know how to boost their exposure, I'll post a big list of these "bloggeries" in a few days. One biggie of course is to use blog.hotornot.com, which will dump truckloads of visitor stock upon your site.
It appears that the slight improvement in hi-tech and IT work is reflecting on my business. I am finding more small projects and lots of leads every day. I am also resorting to cold calling and handing out flyers, and these feats will be sure to drum up more business.
Interestingly enough, through my battle with my ex-employer (discrimination & labor violations), I have made many new allies and business leads in all the organizations and committees that I've worked with. Just another reason to be bold and stand your ground against every challenge!
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(By Daniel Culveyhouse | No comments yet | comment here)
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The International Mr. Leather Weekend happens this weekend, and my hometown becomes the world’s fetish focal point! I cannot attend this year, as a visitor can easily rack up over $1,000 in total costs. No thanks, I’ll just use that money to build my business for the time being.
 | | IML Flyer |
There’s always next year. Here is IML’s website if you want to learn about the events and maybe plan your own heyday of hedonism! My bit of advice: Do it now while you’re still young.
Switching gears to the IT scene, we IT gurus have become aware of a new “Big Brother” kind of nuisance. The company is called Cyveillance, a big media search engine that churns up Internet dirt by looking for illegal use of copyrighted materials. As soon as I started publishing blogs regarding classical music, I started being attacked by Cyveillance’s bots. Countless other infuriated server admins also complained of the same issue.
Clearly, these cyveillance auto bots are unethical because:
- Cyveillance is dishonest about the real purpose of these bots vs. what they claim
- The bots can bog down your server if left unchecked
- These scumbots do NOT respect your robots.txt settings, thereby ignoring your server's rules and running rampant through your site
The solution is rather simple: Ban Cyveillance and its bots from all ports on all of your servers, and voila! No more creepy Cyveillance bots to gobble up your expensive bandwidth!
If you’re a server admin that wants to do this, here’s some simple code, for a Unix server anyway. Modify your httpd.conf to ban Cyveillance's entire IP block, like this:
<Directory /directory_attacked_by_cyveillance>
Options FollowSymLinks
AllowOverride All
Order allow,deny
Allow from all
deny from 63.148.99.224/27
deny from cyveillance.com
</Directory>
Also, Chris Gulker, an IT guru to the nth power, also make a great blog entry on this subject HERE.
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(By Daniel Culveyhouse | See the 1 comment | comment here)
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Well, today begins the one-month countdown to San Francisco’s pride weekend, the world’s largest pride event that typically attracts over 500,000 spectators. You can bet that I’ll make the best of it, even if I’m on a tight budget. If last year’s events are any indication, this year’s Pride should be the best one yet! The parade should have more contingents than ever before, and the massive street fair after the parade will keep everyone busy all day.
The city is scrambling to have everything in place for the celebration. The parade committee is gearing up for a record number of volunteers for first-aid, security, monitoring, etc.
 | | The Xena Contingent |
The state steps in and bans mylar balloons and mylar décor from all parade floats. A big leather squad vows to blow their loads all over Reverend Phelps and his lowly lynch mob if he stands there with signs like “God Hates Fags!” I really wish that this anonymous leather squad didn’t follow through with it. It could get them into minor trouble (Battery by Body Waste). But who knows, we have a new police chief!
And I LOVE this year’s theme, “Out 4 Justice,” representing our focus on the glaring problems facing LGBT rights, and the civil liberties of all Americans. I will be in the parade to support this theme, as I have been totally appalled by attacks on our human rights, namely the abusive PATRIOT Act, the government’s no-fly list, the Defense of Marriage Act, and the yet rampant workplace discrimination which still hurts our community.
Now I’m ranting, so I might as well also note that evey year, the SF Pride Committee names the recipient of what’s called the Pink Brick Award- a big label for a big prick who has done the most damage to the LGBT community. This year, the Pink Brick Award goes to Attorney General John Ashcroft! Yay-wooo, America loves you Mr. Ashcroft! Thank you for oppressing the gay and lesbian community, opposing our right to marriage, and fighting the Employment Non-Discrimination Act! You’re doing such a great job at constitutional dismemberment! Keep up the great work intimidating faggots and dikes!
I’ll keep everyone up to date on hard-to-find pride news and alerts in my blogs. I might make pride a separate topic to make entries easier to spot. And I promise to update my blog at least once every other day to calm the horde of pressing readers!
Notes:
- The State of California bans mylar balloons due to the remote but ghastly possibility that aluminized mylar balloons could strike power lines / Muni lines and cause a multi-block power outage during the parade. I have to agree with this decision. I would not want half of downtown to be crippled because a giant erect mylar penis whacked an overhead cable.
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SF Pride is officially called the “SAN FRANCISCO LESBIAN, GAY, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER PRIDE CELEBRATION.” I realize this, but it takes up way too much blog space. So SF Pride it is.
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The SF Pride Parade is arguably the third largest annual event in California behind the Rose Parade and some Mother Goose march in Southern CA.
 | | 1978 Gay Pride - Displaced Okies |
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(By Daniel Culveyhouse | No comments yet | comment here)
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